Fiddler on the Roof

Question: How do you critique a work that is meant to depict an oppressive society? How do you separate what the society is saying and what the movie is saying?

Yesterday I watched Fiddler on the Roof. I'd been feeling a hankering for the songs (Sunrise, Sunset and La Chaim especially.)

It's difficult, because yes, the three daughters Tzeitel, Hodel, and Chava are very likable characters, and they do rebel against their father, something unheard of in their oppressive society. But to what purpose do the daughters rebel? Not for freedom, but to choose a different owner, a slightly different brand of servitude. This is where my question comes in, because what other life path could they choose? Even outside the bounds of their faith there is really nothing they could do to gain true autonomy. This is just a caution not to view these daughters as liberated.

I think that if they really had decided "screw you, dad, I can make my own life and be free" instead of "screw you, dad, I would like to marry/serve this other man" their characters would not have been portrayed sympathetically. Because the closest character to that ideal is Yenta, and while every character is given some sympathy in the film, she is given the least, and is portrayed as intruding on everyone else's life and not being a welcome sight to anyone. It's okay for the daughters to rebel against the master given to them by their society because they're not really challenging the paradigm that still holds in our society--that a woman needs (must belong to) some man.

And there was a lot of ownership going on from the suitors to their chattel--I mean beloveds.

Least was Motel. I think that the things Motel did were a reflection of his society. In his song Miracle of Miracles, the last line, "God has given you to me" is something that I would frown on if I heard it in a modern song. In the context of their society, though, it seems consistent with the language that he has available to him to describe the nature of his relationship with Tzeitel.

And his extremely rude and bossy handclap as a form of command towards Tzeitel at the wedding was an imitation of Tevye--a clear joke directed to the audience in which we are meant to laugh at their society. (O irony! O infamy!)

Next came Perchik. I don't like Perchik. He was far too physically pushy with Hodel. He was always grabbing her and dragging her somewhere, and doing a "dance" with her that she was clearly an unwilling participant in. (Is this my personal alarm going off? Maybe. I ain't the only one with alarms calibrated so finely, though; not even close: the malady is not a rare one.)

Now, could that just be a reflection of their society? Perhaps, although the movie did go to some pains to establish that Perchik had more respect for women than most men in that society. What wasn't necessary was that the tugging and pulling and dancing led directly to True Love. Aargh.

Okay, and then this Far From the Home I Love thing? It's better than Little Mermaid, because at least Hodel feels sad that she's abandoning her home, her family, and everyone she loves to go live in this strange barren wasteland with her (grabby!) beau--but she still does it anyway. I don't think this is a depiction of her society. Even though her society doesn't exactly oppose her decision, it's not really something that's done very often, and it's not anything they would have encouraged her to do. No, this is our society feeling Hodel's pain but admiring her for making the right decision (doing what our society would have done) and abandoning her identity to serve her master--I mean betrothed.

Last and possibly worst is Fyedka and our little bird Chava. Chava does something very similar to what Hodel does--she abandons her entire identity--her faith!--for this man. (Admittedly Fyedka is much more handsome than Perchik, but beauty is subjective.) This is absolutely not something that was condoned by her society. It is something that we understand given the roles and expectations of our society, and it's harmful.

Equally upsetting was the manner of their meeting. So Chava's out walking her cow when four young Russian men suddenly accost her. The encounter is brief, but you can hear them mocking her language (this is racialized misogyny). She tries to get away. They surround her. Some of them touch her and grab her. She says "please" a few times. I get upset.

But fear not, damsel! Your prince Fyedka has arrived! He quickly sends those gang rapists--I mean ruffians--packing. She's still upset, and I was about to approve, but then what happens? Fyedka guilts her into talking to him by saying "you feel about me the same way they feel about you." Um. Chava is scared of him, and, hey, justification for that attitude is, like, still visible walking across the field. They hate her and were trying to hurt and humiliate her. These are pretty fundamentally different attitudes.

The movie approves of this statement, however, because it gives Fyedka pure intentions and a heart of gold, so that her attitude (although utterly rational) is undermined for our viewing pleasure. Gah, this is just like Hermione all over again.

Damn, I hate that part of the movie.

So there you have it. Perchik and Fyedka are given status over Hodel and Chava that goes beyond what can be explained by their society, and the basic characters of the three daughters are not ones seeking freedom, but rather ones seeking a type of servitude that will make them "happy."

15 Simple Ways

I'm trying to do a bunch of different types of things, so I was thinking, "what can I do that's not a book or a song or a movie or concentrating on just one character?" Then I thought, "I bet if I go to one of those sites like yahoo or MSN or something, they'll have something moronic right on the homepage and I can make fun of that."


Bingo.

This little piece is entitled "15 simple ways to keep your partner happy" by David Wygant. Oh, this should be good. Note that the title of this piece addresses "you," as in, they are addressing whoever he thinks is reading the website. As we shall see, the article is directed towards men. The implication here is that whoever is reading the site must be a man, or if there are women reading it, they're not worth marketing toward or even mentioning.

Digression: People on this forum have asked me before what the problem is with setting men as the default assumption and then switching to women. "It doesn't mean we value them any less," they say. Well, I think the title of this article is a good example of the problem with defaulting to men. Women don't get enough space or attention, and what space they do get is designated just for women ("chick flicks") and not usually considered to be of worth to the larger society (which is composed of men, natch.) Meanwhile, women are expected to like men's things, or at least put up with them, because men are the default--it's for everyone! It's for you!

So you're in a relationship and your partner starts nagging.

Hooo boy.

Presumably this situation is supposed to be familiar to every man. Those nagging women! What can we do to make them shut up?

She tells you that you just don't understand her, and that she really wishes that you would just do more "little things."

Jesus Christ. "Then she starts to cry! While taking forever in the bathroom! And she tells you she has a headache!" The scare quotes and other elements of the syntax really make it sound like "you" aren't really interested in understanding her, like this is some alien woman speech. "Little things," what could that possibly mean?

1. Rub her feet instead of asking her if she wants you to rub her feet. Make it look like you want to do it.

Because you certainly don't actually want to do it. Touching your partner gently, in a way that makes her feel good--who would actually want that? But you have to make it seem like you care.

2. Make her dinner one night. Don't ask her if she wants you to make dinner. Make her dinner before she gets home.

Sigh. So what, this guy is usually home before this woman, and she usually makes dinner? No wonder she needs a foot rub--he's bloody useless. Honestly. How about instead of "one night," you make it a regular thing? "One night" is seriously a token effort here.

5. Send an eCard in the middle of the day... something cute to remind her how much you really care about her

Okay, this isn't so much a women's issue as a public service announcement: E-cards are pathetic and don't show any caring or effort at all. Geez, at least with the note you have to come up with something yourself. It's basically the equivalent of buying someone a gift certificate to Fred Meyers--PATHETIC. Do you even know this person at all?

6. If she's going on a business trip, offer to drive her to the airport or pick her up to make her life that much easier.

What the hell? How do you not do this already? This man, who the author assumes is you, is useless. Remember: sexists hate men too.

7. Let her have control of the remote control. Don't monopolize it for a change. Just give it to her and let her actually sit there and enjoying watching one of her shows. Then you can share one of her interests by watching it with her.

Bleargh. And you thought I was overreacting with the headache/bathroom line.

This one is actually problematic in several ways. It assumes that the man usually has control of the remote because, well, he's the man. He uses the word "let" to describe giving the woman the remote, as though it is an act of kindness, not a decision that the woman has any control over. He thinks men should get points (and encourages you to think the same way) for letting a woman watch one show that she wants to watch. This is what I was talking about at the beginning of the article. In this hypothetical couple, the woman is expected, whenever they watch television together, to watch what he wants to watch. Being "allowed" to watch a show that she wants to watch is considered a bonus.

8. Offer to iron one of her shirts or take her clothes to the dry cleaner.
9. Clean up the bathroom without being asked. Don't just sit there and ignore the mess around the toilet. If you know it drives her crazy to see water splashed all around the sink, dry that area after you use it. [...]
12. The next time she gives you a massage, give her a massage the next day. Offer it! Don't just say you'll give her a massage...do it!

WHO THE HELL IS THIS BLOODY USELESS JACKASS? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?

You know what? I can't go on. Here's this, though:

It's the little things. The guy who makes the biggest mistake is the one who ignores their significant other then all of a sudden give them an expensive gift to make up for it.

Just in case someone was going to say "why are you assuming he's talking to a man? Maybe he's talking about lesbians too! Maybe YOU'RE the bigoted one!" He's talking to men about how to make their girlfriends or wives stop nagging them.